Bimby's 7 Marriage Notions

I think, ( seriously) that blogger is going bonkers. I have been trying to access my account for days and for some reason, it refused to let me log in. I suspect a conspiracy. Maybe somebody at blogger headquarters is jealousing me.

OK!!! get serious BIMBY!

How' ve u's been? As always, I totally have nothing to blog about, so while I was doing blog'orun (dats gbeborun for bloggers), I came across an interesting post on temitayo 212's blog on the Topic for today, and I thought to myself, 'why not do somin similar?' i.e: Im too lazy to be innovative.

Disclaimer: these views did not necessarily happen in my own marriage o, before somebody will email Chinese eyes and report me! ehen!. I am just advising based on my collective sense.

Bimby's 7 Marriage Notions:

( composed over a bowl of white rice and cowfoot stew).

1) PLEASE don't marry someone because a PASTOR recieved that person for you. I beg you with everything in me, if you are single and havent started talking to God about your future partner, you bera begin now. And do it every day. Its probably the best thing you will do for your marriage. I am tired of hearing people say " The Pastor said he is the one for me". The PASTOR said... what did GOD say? ehn? dey look me oh!

Remember it is not pastor and you that will marry this person o. Its YOU alone. When everybody finishes eating rice on your wedding day, your eyes will open at how quickly people will disappear home, probably muttering with disgust that the rice they ate at your wedding was too salty'.

Dont get me wrong o, a Pastor's counsel is invaluable when it comes to seeking a life partner, but PLEASE dont rely on it alone, especially when the guy/ girl you want to marry started attending your church because you invited him there ( he or she may just be doing show for pastor..lol). God can never deceive you, neither can He be deceived. He will show you your own if you ask HIM with patience and submission to his will... WHICH LEADS ME TO:

2) DON'T KILL yourself to have a celebritin wedding! You want to appear in THIS TOMORROW, PEOPLE MAGAZINE abi Daily Weddings? Then write a correct article or do a photo shoot!.. HA bA!! Don't compete to have your wedding appear in magazines by force now. If it happens, fine. but please don't threaten the editors of the magazine with a shotgun!

* no offence to weddings featured in magazines, I am referring to people who get married just for that fact!

Although I had a fairly large wedding that I enjoyed, I would gladly have exchanged it for a nice three week vacation on an exotic Island with my Chinese eyes any day. Because, thinking about it, the rice and dodo I ate sef no even full me. And I watched from my high table with gritting teeth as guests( invited and UN invited) were going back and forth collecting extra food. Na your wedding abi na my own? who suppose eat more? And we all know that a bride cannot eat because of the nerves.

Bottom line is, Its just a one day affair. The wedding cannot last more than, patapata, say one week ( If you are an Indian princess maybe 2 weeks, lol). After that day, its over. So, why borrow money from bank without collateral to do wedding? WHY? oh WHY? The same people that encouraged you to spend your life savings on one day may very well be the same ones that will yap your torn leather chair in your house later...!! why bother?!

Let me throw in a proverb here: wedding na dream, marriage na alarm clock!

3) Marry your best friend. Spiritually and Physically. I mean that in every way.

Spiritually: Dont marry someone that will slap your head with a notebook when you mention Prayer. Dont marry someone that will carry his/ her pillow to the floor when you carry your bible. And most importantly, Dont marry someone that will change the locks the day you go to church.! No say I no tell you.

Physically: Do a simple bimbylads test: Lock yourselves in one room for four hours. No sex, no touching, no entertainment, NOTHING except yourselves AND TALK.... If you both come out of that room smiling and laughing still, then you probably are on the right path. I dont mean a 'smile plastered on your face out of frustration o!'.

HINT: If you can talk to your fiancee like he's your closest pally, then things will be much easier in marriage. You will be amazed at the percentage of people that cannot hold a simple conversation with thier spouses!!

4) MEET the INLAWS!! abeg o!! biko, jo.. MEET the INLAWS. SPEND TIME TO LOVE THEM!! and Pray they Love you ( oh pray pray pray). Dont come back after three weeks in marriage to say: " I didnt know his angry sister is severely allergic to Okra" after you have meticulously cooked a whole pot of Ila asepo for her"

5) After marriage, dont hide things from your spouse. be open and bare all. After all, God says we shall be one flesh. Of course, use your discretion over when to bare all!! There may be some things that are best left said till later. But, no secrets because if someone else gets a hang of that secret and tells your spouse before you do, you may be writing a letter to wahala! Except of course if God tells you otherwise. ( I doubt that very much for God is not an author of confusion).

**Bimbylads did not send you to confess an affair with your boss to your spouse, when you know he keeps an AK47 rifle in the roof of the house! ehen!

6) Do everything you can to remain IN LOVE after your wedding day. It may be hard when kids come and life overwhelms you, but try to keep the spark sparkling. If you dont make the effort now, you may wake up in ten years and wonder: Where did it go wrong? ( I severely say: GOD FORBID).

Note that a little compliment, kiss, help with dishes , wash his car, love letter or gift may go a long way to make your spouse feel like you r still in love.

7) DONT COMPARE your spouse with another. Its soo easy for us to look with envy at another relationship and say 'why dosent my wife hold me like that in public?'. Longathroat! Do you know what that wife does to her husband when no one else is there? Because things look 'rosy' with a couple on the outside does not mean o. You may be shocked to find out that a couple who act like they cannot bare to be separated outside may be flushing each other's head in a toilet at home.
Appreciate your own, be content and thank God!

Bimbylads don talk her own. I may not be long in this game, but my eye don see and my ear don hear.

challenge or inspire me.

xxx

Bimbylads

Innocent until.....?!

Oga o. I have to send a truck load of apologies to all the people that have been coming to this page, looking for gist. No vex, I have been very busy trying to understand the concept of motherhood. But, una too dey like gist... shio!!

But what have I been up to?

Firstly, I dont seem to be loosing the weight o!! I am still breasfeeding so I tend to eat and eat and eat.. ok make I no lie, I use breastfeeding as an excuse. When I cook for my hubby, trust bimby's own to be more than his own. When he asks me why I am eating this much, I squeeze my face and say " but, I am eating for two noooow". God help me o. This one that I wear a size 12 now. Oh please dont tell me that size 12 is not large.
I USED TO BE A SIZE 6.
now I am a size 6 x 2= 12.



Secondly, I have suddenly become interested in Naija news and the recent HE EF CEE CEE ( EFCC) story that hit the headlines. Like seriously... opps BE RIGHT BACK! minibim is trying to climb something!!

OK, order restored, where were we?... Ehen, I was saying that I have been following Naija news abi? YES o.

Firstly Bimbylads is NOT here to comment on the allegations made against those execs because I dont really understand the full story, but I have to say that I am shocked and appalled that those suspected were not given the opportunity to be 'questioned in a civil manner', for I heard they were hounded and publicly harrassed!.

What happened to the phrase..' Innocent until proven guilty?'


I am very Okay O... Its just the way Niaja police/ criminal agencies sometimes over arrest people and presume them guilty before allowing them the privilege of a free and fair hearing.



Reminds me of what happened a very long time ago to my darling hubby in the City of Ibadan.......

****

Mama Chinese eyes ( C.E) had always warned her child (C.E) against going to eat in buka's. After all, he was a well fed young man that lacked nothing. but, he never listened. So sweet was the food from the " food is ready" joint down the road, that he would often sneak off to buy a plate of white rice and elepo stew ( palm oil stew) when his mother was not looking.


As usual, one day, C. E and a friend, B decided to pay a visit to Mama Food is ready.

C.E ordered a ravishing bowl of twenty naira white rice, ten naira kpomo and a sachet of cold, pure water. B ordered a hot roll of pounded yam and ewedu with assorted meat.

They found a nice spot, well hidden from the glare of the sun, and indeed from the searching eyes of C.E's mother.


The food arrived, and a salivating C.E began to wolf down his rice at record speed. As he chewed the delicious food, he rejoiced in his spirit. Mama Food is Ready's rice never failed to disappoint.


As a LONG STANDING tradition, C.E always leaves his meat till he's cleared his plate. And so that day, he saved the pkomo for that last glorious moment.


When the time came,with hands shaking in anticipation, he lifted the kpomo up in the air, drove the fork into his waiting mouth and closed his eyes in sheer bliss.....BUT, as he was about to sink his teeth into the succulent juicy meat ,he heard the following words, bellowed with such great authority that his teeth froze on the kpomo and his eye lids flew open.


"HANZ HUP"


My husband holds still for a second or two, not daring to blink. In front of him, stood the most menacing looking, stick thin police man he'd ever seen. His ashen grey uniform was starched solid, and his cap rested with pride on the corner of his head. His bloodshot eyes were hard and hungry.


' I say, HANZ HUP before ah blow ya face' repeated the police officer.


B obeys without question. One solemn look at his kpomo, and C.E unwillingly spits the meat out before raising his hands slowly, trying to comprehend what was happening. Because of twenty naira rice..If only I had... he thinks; but the police man's ice cold glare halts his thoughts.


'Oya, rand all of them hup, wan by wan.. ma j'kan sa'lo o!' screams another officer to his collegue.
( trans: round them up and don't let them escape)


Like a set robots on overcharged Duracell batteries, the police men began to handcuff everyone in the restaurant, including MAMA Food is ready.

They were hauled like sacks of potatoes into a waiting police van, about ten of them in all, including C.E and his friend, B.


Hunched in a dusty, dirty van against sweaty bodies , they all began to protest.


'O.C, wetin we do now?' yells one person.


'O.C, oga, wait, make we talk first now' pleads another.


Another guy ( I assume he was feeling like a lawyer..lol), reaches out and touches the police man that was holding his trousers and says in a businesslike tone:


'Mr Policeman, we can settle this amicably, can't we?'


To which the police man EYES HIM with malice, spreads his free hand and replies :

'Do I nose you or do you nose me?'


(Do I know you or do you know me)


At this point, C.E fully realises that he has mis-eaten buka rice.

The police men were dead serious people that did not care about your English. These were not civil people. They were soldiers on a mission. They arrived at the police station a few minutes later and where thrown to a cell, all ten of them in a room soo small you could spread both arms out and touch the opposite ends of the walls. All this while, no one knew why they were in jail!


Eventually, C.E's father arrives later to bail his child out. Upon further investigation, It turned out it was a case of mistaken identity. Some trouble makers had visited the buka earlier , but unfortunately, the police men arrived after the trouble makers HAD left.In their lack of accuracy of information and preparation of facts, they arrested the wrong people.


What I am trying to drive home is the need for everyone to be given a right to be questioned in a 'civil' manner before being thrown in jail or detained...


Or am I just being over Londonised?



Bimbyladsxxx